I love instant coffee (said nobody, ever) - A poem by Adam R Jenkins

‘I love instant coffee' (said nobody, ever)
I love snow and sleet and terrible weather,
I couldn’t be happier when I’m caught in the rain,
And gravy on shirts? What loveable stains!

I love long windy walks around desolate lakes,
I’m over the moon when my jacket zip breaks
I love soggy chips and cold cups of tea,
Overcooked sprouts really do it for me

Six pairs in the dryer and eleven socks out,
That’s really something to be pleased about
I love running for buses and when they pull away,
I dance in the street, it sets me up for the day

I love my inbox overflowing with spam
That internet prince, what a charming man
I was happy to help him transfer his cash,
He’s gone a bit quiet but said he’ll pay it right back

Shortchanged? Then I’m thrilled,
Getting stiffed really gives me the chills
As much as everyone loves burning their toast,
I can’t do it enough, love it far more than most

When I’m expecting a call and the signal is out,
Surely that's something to be grateful about?
Phone down the toilet and smashing the screen,
Some people get mad, I find that obscene

I love tight deadlines and working till late,
and losing my work when my laptop updates
Knotted earphones are the stuff of my dreams,
I don’t get frustrated, it just makes me beam

I only had water, but sure, we’ll split the bill,
I hope those steaks don’t make everyone ill
I love snow and sleet and terrible weather,
'I love instant coffee' (said nobody, ever)